Wityikquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful capybara.

Wityikquaf created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wityikquaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wityikquaf, he will turn you into a worm.

Wityikquaf's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wityikquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Wityikquaf.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing green boots.