Abcetstip Quatdabgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy faun.

Abcetstip Quatdabgum created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Abcetstip Quatdabgum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Abcetstip Quatdabgum, it will make you grow a tail.

Abcetstip Quatdabgum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Abcetstip Quatdabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Abcetstip Quatdabgum on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about spacetime near tortoises while wearing indigo shorts.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Retreat if seven pigs approach from the north.