Satsigpon is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, sapient capybara.

Satsigpon created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Satsigpon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Satsigpon, he will turn you into a rat.

Satsigpon's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Satsigpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Geese are not to be trusted.