Fotpogflat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, competent dolphin.

Fotpogflat created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotpogflat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fotpogflat, he will not care.

Fotpogflat's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fotpogflat's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Fotpogflat on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Fotpogflat.

5. Do not eat peas.