Padwadnarlzog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, narcissistic chicken.

Padwadnarlzog created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padwadnarlzog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Padwadnarlzog, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Padwadnarlzog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Padwadnarlzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Never bounce near swans.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Always stare at clouds.