Tiftintof is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, deceitful swallow.

Tiftintof created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiftintof, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiftintof, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tiftintof's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tiftintof's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Retreat if five dogs approach from the north.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. Never write about special relativity.