Nibzannur is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic tapir.

Nibzannur created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nibzannur, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nibzannur, he will come to you in dreams.

Nibzannur's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nibzannur's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Do not keep six seals in a large pit.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must love Nibzannur.