Dotyartqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil ferret.

Dotyartqueeg created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotyartqueeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotyartqueeg, he will torture you forever.

Dotyartqueeg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dotyartqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.