Sandquartgig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful ant.

Sandquartgig created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandquartgig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sandquartgig, it will turn you into a rock.

Sandquartgig's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sandquartgig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange snails, for they are unholy.

2. Never feed oranges to tapirs while wearing boots.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Sandquartgig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never paint your arms green.