Tapcardib is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic pig.

Tapcardib created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcardib, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tapcardib, it will have a low opinion of you.

Tapcardib's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tapcardib's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hide if eight tapirs approach from the west.