Kikbamstan Mitjippib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair coyote.

Kikbamstan Mitjippib created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikbamstan Mitjippib, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikbamstan Mitjippib, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kikbamstan Mitjippib's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Kikbamstan Mitjippib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Kikbamstan Mitjippib on top of important buildings.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.