Bapbossquam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, irritating cow.

Bapbossquam created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bapbossquam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bapbossquam, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bapbossquam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bapbossquam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five goats approach from the south.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never paint your arms red.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to music.