Hitnibyattaffar is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciful tortoise.

Hitnibyattaffar created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hitnibyattaffar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hitnibyattaffar, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hitnibyattaffar's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hitnibyattaffar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing mauve coats and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. You must love Hitnibyattaffar.