Gadsterzig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring porpoise.

Gadsterzig created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadsterzig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gadsterzig, it will torture you forever.

Gadsterzig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gadsterzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill seals.

2. Run away if nine aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gadsterzig on top of all buildings.