Flaptomarm is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless yak.

Flaptomarm created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptomarm, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flaptomarm, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flaptomarm's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flaptomarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always obey Flaptomarm's priests.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never wear trousers.