Jablimdunsomtig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest meerkat.

Jablimdunsomtig created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jablimdunsomtig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jablimdunsomtig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jablimdunsomtig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Jablimdunsomtig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Always obey Jablimdunsomtig's priests.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.