Lakbastzog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, caring squirrel.

Lakbastzog created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbastzog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakbastzog, she will turn you into a plant.

Lakbastzog's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lakbastzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured voles.

2. You must pray to Lakbastzog three times a day.

3. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if seven geese approach from the east.

5. Never eat spinach.