Dapominneg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, vain wyvern.

Dapominneg created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Dapominneg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dapominneg, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dapominneg's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dapominneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing violet shorts and balancing five titanium spheres on your back.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.