Gunvigvinfod is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, effective cow.

Gunvigvinfod created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunvigvinfod, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gunvigvinfod, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gunvigvinfod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gunvigvinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never think about special relativity near snails while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing seven silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Gunvigvinfod.