Zakrulfad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, strong snail.

Zakrulfad created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakrulfad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zakrulfad, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zakrulfad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Zakrulfad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never paint your back turquoise.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.