Vonkquafgubbap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful hydra.

Vonkquafgubbap created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkquafgubbap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkquafgubbap, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vonkquafgubbap's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vonkquafgubbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing white shirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your legs.

5. Do not commit murder.