Mutloplog is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, idiotic goblin.

Mutloplog created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutloplog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mutloplog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mutloplog's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Mutloplog's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about optics near frogs while wearing red jumpers and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.