Biggedjarnomtxinrig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, quiet whale.

Biggedjarnomtxinrig created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Biggedjarnomtxinrig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Biggedjarnomtxinrig, he will destroy your home planet.

Biggedjarnomtxinrig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Biggedjarnomtxinrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.