Fastenfig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable dingo.

Fastenfig created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fastenfig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fastenfig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fastenfig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fastenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fastenfig.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never paint your feet brown.