Lingongutven is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, strong mongoose.

Lingongutven created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lingongutven, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lingongutven, it will try to impress you with trees.

Lingongutven's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lingongutven's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.