Gumlidsabstan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, cheerful alligator.

Gumlidsabstan created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumlidsabstan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gumlidsabstan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gumlidsabstan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gumlidsabstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Retreat if five horses approach from the west.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away from mauve mice, for they are unholy.

5. Always wear blue.