Monbammap is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, charitable narwhal.

Monbammap created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monbammap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Monbammap, it will torture you forever.

Monbammap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Monbammap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Monbammap in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always help swans in need.