Bestponxening is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, capable bat.

Bestponxening created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestponxening, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bestponxening, he will make you grow a tail.

Bestponxening's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bestponxening's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Hide from pink mites for they are unholy.

3. Always help dolphins in need.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.