Jatwipmis is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, charitable gnu.

Jatwipmis created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatwipmis, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jatwipmis, it will destroy your favourite star.

Jatwipmis' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jatwipmis' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jatwipmis five times a day.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick frogs.