Jaddunzed is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless narwhal.

Jaddunzed created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Jaddunzed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jaddunzed, he will not invite you to parties.

Jaddunzed's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Jaddunzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jaddunzed.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always help sick sheep.