Gamlakpid is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful porpoise.

Gamlakpid created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Gamlakpid, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gamlakpid, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gamlakpid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gamlakpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.