Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent hydra.

Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig, it will turn you into a duck.

Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Bumfarnmot Sasmetsafstig loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Run away from brown seals, for they are unholy.