Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent centaur.

Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik, it will send you a sign.

Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cidpadvidmegmadhassasstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Run away if five nematodes approach from the north.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.