Yokcutbest is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering whale.

Yokcutbest created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokcutbest, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yokcutbest, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Yokcutbest's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Yokcutbest's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Never feed coconuts to hamsters while wearing jumpers.

5. Never hurt sheep.