Sagvanmegren is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable goat.

Sagvanmegren created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagvanmegren, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sagvanmegren, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sagvanmegren's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sagvanmegren's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing indigo trousers.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Never wear pink skirts.