Monjampad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident dryad.

Monjampad created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Monjampad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Monjampad, he will ignore you.

Monjampad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Monjampad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange scarves.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Monjampad.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.