Yartnarcep Jigyatdab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil yak.

Yartnarcep Jigyatdab created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartnarcep Jigyatdab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartnarcep Jigyatdab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yartnarcep Jigyatdab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yartnarcep Jigyatdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing pink rings and balancing five carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Yartnarcep Jigyatdab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never run in the presence of cats.