Bonkflabfub is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, dishonest crab.

Bonkflabfub created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkflabfub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bonkflabfub, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkflabfub's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bonkflabfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Bonkflabfub in the centre of the settlement.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not take Bonkflabfub's name in vain.