Rulzansab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering bat.

Rulzansab created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulzansab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rulzansab, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rulzansab's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Rulzansab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near badgers while wearing purple shorts and balancing six silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Always treat mites with great respect.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.