Ponkimtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, amazing cobra.

Ponkimtarg created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponkimtarg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ponkimtarg, he will jump up and down on your head.

Ponkimtarg's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ponkimtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not shave your feet.