Hammotlam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental hamster.

Hammotlam created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hammotlam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hammotlam, she will turn you into a slug.

Hammotlam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Hammotlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hammotlam.