Gofkadfon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gofkadfon created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofkadfon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gofkadfon, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gofkadfon's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gofkadfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Gofkadfon loves ants, so they must be respected.