Carlik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent pigeon.

Carlik created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carlik, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Carlik, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Carlik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Carlik's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about doves.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Put Carlik first in all things.