Batrillwit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful hamster.

Batrillwit created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batrillwit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Batrillwit, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Batrillwit's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Batrillwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never write about comets.