Sadfabbad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, slow guinea pig.

Sadfabbad created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadfabbad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sadfabbad, he will laugh at you.

Sadfabbad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sadfabbad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never leap in the presence of dolphins.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Respect your elders.