Onttamrak is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, capable hummingbird.

Onttamrak created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Onttamrak, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Onttamrak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Onttamrak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Onttamrak's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never mention tortoises.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.