Figdutdab Dissmanzed is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish finch.

Figdutdab Dissmanzed created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figdutdab Dissmanzed, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Figdutdab Dissmanzed, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Figdutdab Dissmanzed's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Figdutdab Dissmanzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Run away from gray hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never jump near birds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.