Pad is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic owl.

Pad created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pad, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Pad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing purple rings.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Pad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.