Fasnarlhon is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, happy dog.

Fasnarlhon created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fasnarlhon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fasnarlhon, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fasnarlhon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fasnarlhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.