Wotpopyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, proud goose.

Wotpopyarp created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpopyarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotpopyarp, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Wotpopyarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wotpopyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to tapirs while wearing stockings.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never chant in the presence of otters.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near gulls while wearing yellow skirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.

5. You must never eat limes.